Picture Show Night With Puma

Have you ever wondered what the Puma thinks of motion pictures that prominently feature running?  NO?!  Well too bad, jerk!  He’s going to tell you anyway!  So grab some popcorn, take a seat, and try that classy “yawn and stretch” move on your significant other, because the inaugural Peace With Inches movie review is coming at you…right now!

Before diving into the insightful critique, I’ll describe the advanced rating scale with which I will judge all movies.  Using a very complex and well-thought-out formula that accounts for (1) storyline, (2) overarching themes, (3) subplots, (4) dialogue, (5) cinematography, (6) actor performances, (7) actor attractiveness, (8) amount of nudity, (9) number of explosions, (10) inclusion of talking animals, (11) whether the cast includes Christopher Walken, (12) number of training montages, and finally, (13) whether I’m hungry at the time, I give the movie one of five possible designations.  From best to worst, these designations are:

1)   The Last Crusade

2)   Raiders of the Lost Ark

3)   The Temple of Doom

4)   Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

...and finally...

5)   MacGruber

The first four designations are based on my rankings of the Indiana Jones series, and the last one is a 2-minute SNL skit that someone stretched into an hour and half torture session, losing 1.5 million dollars in the process.  It’s with this scaling method in mind that I’ll begin my review of today’s movie, Run Fatboy Run.

Run Fatboy Run (2008)

If you’ve ever fantasized about an unfit Simon Pegg running a marathon in a pair short-shorts and a “National Erectile Dysfunction Awareness” t-shirt, then you sir, need to seriously reassess what you're doing with your life.  However, this is the memorable image that one is left with after watching the sincere comedy, Run Fatboy Run.

Dennis Doyle (Pegg) making sweet, sweet love to
that stationary bike.  He said he would call
afterwards, but never did.

In the movie, down-on-his-luck Dennis Doyle (played by Pegg) is an unfit security guard who spends most his days chasing down lingerie-thieving transvestites.  It’s not until his baby-mama (whom he left at the alter five years earlier) enters into a serious relationship with first class a-hole, Patches O’ Houlihan (Hank Azaria), that Doyle attempts to break out of his rut.  In a last-ditch effort to show the woman he loves (Thandie Newton) that he can change, the lovable bloke vows to complete a marathon.  Then, just when you thought things couldn’t get whackier, some other stuff happens…moving on.

First of all, I appreciate that the main character in this movie runs a marathon to both gain respect AND stick it to his romantic rival.  Deep down, both you and I know that the greatest achievements in this world are always fueled by spite and vindictiveness.  It’s like I always say, what’s the point of doing something if you can’t rub it in another person’s face later?  But I digress.  

The movie follows Doyle closely as he battles both his inner demons and his outer flabbiness in an effort to gain the respect and adoration of his former bride-to-be.  Directed by David Schwimmer (yes, the whiny guy from Friends), Run Fatboy Run also tries to depict some of the physical and mental challenges that an endurance runner faces when competing in a marathon.  Chaffing and blisters make prominent cameos during the movie, and Doyle ultimately stands toe-to-toe with “The Wall,” the dreaded mental block that constantly threatens to foil even the most ambitious of racers.  This climatic scene, however, lacks any subtlety, making the portrayal more cheesy than illuminating, but this minor flaw is only offensive to the most serious of runners. 

Overall, Run Fatboy Run is a fun and lighthearted movie that both runners and non-runners can appreciate.  Simon Pegg’s heartwarming performance more than makes up for the movie’s lack of explosions and talking animals, and the witty dialogue (at least the lines I could understand) keeps the movie flowing at a entertaining pace.  Therefore, the movie receives a rating of “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

The absence of Christopher Walken and the fact that the only nudity in the movie is a pale-British man’s keister dropped Run Fatboy Run from the upper echelon of motion pictures, but it still finishes in the "Above Average" category.  So add it to your Netflix queue, because while the movie won’t blow you away, it’s not like you have anything better to do.